Friday, November 10, 2017

10. the phone call | #30Layers30Days

February tenth, two thousand and eight

{9} I vividly remember the phone call like it was yesterday...
The doctors said you fought the good fight relentlessly,
but in the end, weren't as victorious as we prayed you'd be.
It wouldn't be the first nor last the time I felt hell break loose inside of me
Though I wasn't brave enough to say I love you, I also never thought you'd leave
Your existence was yet another presence I took for granted,
which meant more empty lonely days spent moping and roaming this planet,
blaming God for another soul lost too soon,
and yet another tragedy my mind would eternally consume.

{8} That's when I had to stop myself from assuming the guilt,
Perseverance was something you embodied well, you wouldn't want me to quit
The highlight of my adolescence was meeting you at the tender age of eleven
We didn't get a chance to meet at the altar, but I know we'll reunite in heaven.
The biggest lessen that I didn't comprehend until several years later
that as much as we like to make our plans, God's plans are always greater.
Adjusting to life without you here, I had to learn how release my will to be selfish
allow God to heal my heart, fill the void, and give me a fresh perspective.

{14} Fast forward to the present, which is still blooming into an era of acceptance
Although I can recall the pain, I can also choose to remember you in essence.
It's become a daily ritual to remind myself to really focus on the present,
cherish the memories, without forgetting that knowing you was a blessing.
There is comfort in knowing your soul is finally free to simply be
without the constraints of physical sickness and disease
It took a while to smile again, but I'm a vessel of hope these days
No longer do I question God, who is perfect is all His ways.
What used to leave me feeling lifeless now brings me inner strength.
Your presence lingers in the atmosphere when the void of your absence is too intense.
The fact that you'll forever exist in spirit increases my faith in a higher force above.
I ascend this poem to heaven's gates, wrapped and sealed with all my love.
I pray it reaches you in Godspeed - 9 years, 8 months, 14 days removed from February 10, 2008 -
to wish a happy earth day to the love of my life and a friend I can never replace.

Chymere Anais | 10.21.17


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