Saturday, September 27, 2014

Choose Your Circle Wisely

"You have to set your mind and heart to what you want to do to make your dream a reality. It's never to late to dream again." -Mother Darling
Sometimes I need to hear it again-the calming reassurance from a familiar voice-to pull my mind away from self-doubt and feelings of defeat.

Earlier today, I had a refreshing conversation with Mother Darling. There was a little uncertainty floating around my head and I just needed to briefly clear out my frustrations. When she made that statement, it resonated with me and I was just so relieved, lucky even, to know she is and has always been in my corner. Because she wasn't the first person I've had that conversation with, it made me think of the responses before her and instead of writing a post about not being afraid to dream again, it transformed into something much bigger than that.

What I'm learning is how to build with people who are just as passionate as I am.  This does not mean that we agree on everything or that we share the same artistic abilities/capabilities; it simply connotes that we are all on the same page about achieving a quality life experience for ourselves and the people we encounter. So, with this realization, I am having to take a personal inventory of individuals who are currently in my life who either don't take me seriously, drain all my energy, and/or bring me down with negativity. The saying goes that you are an average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. At this point, I'm really questioning that, because I am all about surrounding myself with goodness on this journey, even if that means destroying a few bridges along the way. 

Be careful of the conversations you engage in, especially when it comes to great ideas and dreams, because it's vital to be extremely protective of such fragile things. It's a shame that sometimes even the people you've expected to encourage you to dream big[ger] and be happy for you every step up the way aren't the ones you need, but it's also a blessing when you find the jewels who are.  How do I find the diamonds in the coal? Process of elimination.  

Eliminate/let go of anyone who:
  • Agrees with your doubts. As humans, we may accidentally allow our confidence and joy to fade away into the abyss.  Sadly, there are people who will gladly accompany your misery and may even to persuade you to cave in completely.
  • Doesn't see your vision. This is the crazy part, because you also have to use discernment about who you share your visions with. Everyone won't be excited for you. Everyone won't be equally passionate. Everyone won't believe you can do it and some will hope that you don't. Everyone won't be a strong, prayer warrior for you in difficult times. Remember that.
  • Is a negative Nancy. This is anyone who makes you feel bad about letting your light shine. Anyone who doesn't empower you, doesn't benefit you. 
  • Doesn't celebrate small successes with you.  This goes back to finding people who are equally passionate, because if they aren't, they won't be able to appreciate the small steps and milestones towards the bigger goal.  If they can't be there for the little stuff, they don't deserve to be present for the big stuff either.

So, who is left? Your support system, made up of family members, friends, mentors, colleagues, business partners, etc. who have enough respect for you to want you to be the absolute best version of yourself and will never stand by to watch you think you can't achieve the goals you have set to accomplish. It can be hard to discover the people, the wolves in sheep clothing, that you genuinely thought had your best interest at heart, but really don't. It's tough to wave good-bye to people you may have known and befriended for several years. At the end of the day, it is up to you to choose your circle, so choose wisely. 

♥ Chymere Anais

-original publish date: September 27, 1013

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