Thursday, August 7, 2014

City of Dreams and Nightmares

Things started to fall apart and I needed to get out before I lost control; control over my emotions, my circumstances, my sanity, etc.  This is what I thought I wanted, right?

It was a little disheartening for the city of my dreams to turn out to be the city of nightmares. So much happened in such a short time frame that I literally have to leave in order for everything to fully register. I've never felt so lost in my entire life. Maybe I was too ambitious and overly optimistic with my expectations. Maybe it really wasn't the right time. However, rather than continuing to be discouraged about how things played out or feeling like a failure, I just count it as a lesson learned so that next time, I am able to do it better. If at first you don't succeed...

There were parts I did enjoy after the initial excitement subsided.  If it really is apart of God's plan for me to be there, then I'll return one day with a better blue-print, more money, and a more clear perspective on why I feel so attached to this place. I honestly tried, with everything in me, to make this work. Perhaps, I'll go into more detail later on, but for now, I have to go home to regroup and recharge. Fortunately, I'm one of the lucky ones who always has a home to go back to. Never realized how much of a blessing that is. 

Thank you for all the good luck wishes and congratulatory comments. All were so appreciated, because having people believe in me is just phenomenal. I am forever grateful to have so much support.

Goodbye, my sweet California.  If it is meant to be, I'll be back before you know it.


  1. So sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted, Chymere. But like you said, maybe it's not the right time. I do hope you'll share some details, though. Maybe your insight could help someone (me) in the future.

  2. Aww Chymere I'm so sorry to hear things didn't go as planned this time around but you are in the right mind set to not let it defeat you and just need to regroup. That's how how I felt about not getting that job and yea it sucked but u also realized it's somethings here that I need to take of care or if anything finish what I started, school being one of them. This battle was lost but the war isn't over. Most def if it is truly where you want to be it will definitely happen one way or the other.


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