Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Releasing fear. Releasing doubt. Releasing control.

This week, I lived my life according to how I imagine my life to be, acting and moving as thou.  Sometimes we get so caught up in where we'd rather be, that we forget to enjoy where we are. In my thoughts on Friday evening, I vented on Twitter with realizations of how blessed I am; how I could wake up tomorrow [breathing] and lose it all in some wild fire explosion, yet still have an abundance left.  Tonight/this morning, I literally used my physical lens, glanced at this space I've had the opportunity to create from scratch, to see that I have so much to be thankful for (i.e. transportation, a place to live, etc).  I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I honor where I am.  Finally, I'm at a place where I am able to reach beyond what I can see now and know that, ultimately, everything will be okay, because it's all in God's strong, unyielding hands.  And I'm genuinely happy, for no other reason than I want to be; because it's healthy, helpful, and because it's a waste of time to be anything but.

At certain points of my life, I wasn't sure that it was remotely possible to overcome the things I went through.  My journals were so full of tears, convinced that my life was breaking into eternal shambles. The reason I moved on from the old blog was, because it held so many of those moments for the world to see.  In retrospect, I never had a reason to worry; my prayers were always completely safe.  So now, I'm not only praying, I'm also preparing and believing in my heart that the universe understands, even when I don't quite have the words to say in order to make myself understood.

Releasing fear. Releasing doubt. Releasing control. 

So 100+ post later, with many more to come, I now understand why writing is so real to me.  Yes, as a writer, I love the constant feedback I receive from blogging. One single comment has the power to light up my world. I love to make my mark using my gift and  gratefully accept those who read, as well as those who don't care to. Because I do understand that the depth of my words once written, how they affect others, and how they affect me, audience is not the motive anymore. More importantly, I knit these words together so that the message I transmit to the universe/God, what I manifest for myself, and the seeds I plant in the lives of others will all come out beautifully, serving a divine purpose. 

Living in the moment, patiently waiting to see how life unfolds. I hope you are ready to enter the next phase of this journey with me!

-Chymere A.

1 comment

  1. Lovely doll!


    I always try to remember "the things you complain about, someone is praying for". That keeps me sane and forces me to humble myself.

    Congrats on your 100th post.

    P.S. Forgive my nosey self for staring extremely long and hard at the picture related to this post. LOL


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